a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them
you might as well wear a condom on your head if you’re gonna act like a dick
have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?
i fuckin hate how daisy goes ”WOOHOO” when she passes u in mariokart. especially when ur like tied with her so all u hear is WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOOHOO WOO FUCKING HOO
"i cant sleep"
BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????
why say nip slip when peek-a-boob is so much better
I use tumblr more out of habit than enjoyment at this point
tumblr literally defies all things i’ve been taught:
- don’t talk to strangers
- don’t make friends online
- don’t do anything stupid
HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY